On chasing butterflies and what comes next!

crowdfundingA post by a writer I follow got me thinking this morning. I have for many years been a technologist. As someone in the technology field, there are two things that happen. The first is the reality of integration, I know the pain of start down a path, and then stopping and starting over. It means that everything you did, has to be undone and then redone in the new system. I also understand the competition that is new and shiny.

Balancing the desire to chase the butterfly (we all to some degree want to stop and chase the butterfly) against what is there now and requires attention is hard. The butterfly in the case of technology represents the cool new thing. The reality of what we have is much harder than what the butterfly offers. No matter what we do, the alluring butterfly will always pop in front of us when we are not ready.

For me the butterfly is gadgets. I acknowledge that as a technologist I am a butterfly chaser. Not because I can or should, but because I do and have. The reality of the butterfly for me is more that it is part of who I am, and part of what I do. There is an identity in chasing the butterfly. For many years I have been the person with the device in the meeting, not the person asking about the device. I realize however that makes it hard for me to approach life in the way I desire.

maturityI wish to be a minimalist, but I know the allure of the butterfly for me, won’t let me. So I struggle internally with the reality of who I am, what I do and ultimately how I perceive myself. I am the contradiction.

Accepting who we are is a difficult thing. I am a technologist. I believe technology can still change the world. I know this because technology has changed the world. But I also understand now, that the butterfly isn’t always the right answer.

I have at least 35 cables within arms distance of me, as I write this blog. But if I need a specific cable I cannot often find them. I have them, but wouldn’t know where they were. I can show you a 360-degree video of my office, it is a mess. But that is more or less, it is not my problem. My concern, my fear is more of loss than of finding.

I collect manual typewriters and toys from the old animated Christmas show Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. At the same time, I removed thousands of slides and pictures from my life and converted them to digital. Clutter went, and clutter added. My butterfly seeks always to find something new, something just beyond the horizon.

Does my butterfly, in fact, chase me?

I wonder that sometimes, as I sit here in my quiet space. Alexa playing classical music, and Google answering my questions about what is cool what is hot. My butterfly has a name, it isn’t OSCAR, but when borrowing from a commercial for a line, you think about both the line and the concept. The name of my butterfly is not Alexa or Siri.

The reality of my butterfly is not that it is just out of reach. All butterflies are just out of reach. Just out of our ability to see, and touch. It is not that I never catch my butterfly, nor is it that like many others, I always seek my butterfly. Dancing there, in the distance, taunting and encouraging at the same time.

“Come chase me,” my butterfly says, it is good to get up and move not being at a desk. My #Fitbit, rejoicing that it is finally able to track something other than the dancing of fingers on a keyboard. I am alive, my #Fitbit says. The siren call of the butterfly of no concern to wearable fitness trackers. Why, when it promotes motion, would they care?

My butterfly is two sided. The one side is the many things that could have been but never were and the flipping it, the next big thing.

I cannot stop chasing my butterfly. It is part of who I am. It is part of what I do. Someday I will see the color of my butterfly.

What color is your butterfly?

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Chasing Butterflies and charging my Fitbit!